Mother's Day

Tomorrow is Mother's Day. As I reflect on the times that I spent with my mother, I wonder how many times that I made her cry. I think about the many times that I possibly hurt her. Oh how I wish I could go back and have those moments back. I would give anything to spend just one more moment with her, and to tell her how much I love her and that I appreciate all of the sacrifices that she made for me throughout my life. Oh how much I wish that I could hug her one more time.

Today, I drove 2 1/2 hours to go see my daughter, only to be greeted by disrespect, hatefulness and selfishness. I turned around, got in my car and drove another 2 1/2 hours home. She called me on Thursday night and begged me to come see her. I was happy for the chance to spend some time with her, although my gut told me that this would not play out well. The last time that I drove there she practically did the same thing. But promised me that this time would be different.

My heart hurts. And honestly I am not sure if I am hurting more because I miss my mom, or my daughter. However, I know that tomorrow I will not be celebrating Mother's Day. I am not sure that I can ever again.